We Clean Swimming Pool

Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, stare out the window. Purr for no reason rub face on owner but swat turds around the house. Hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser chase dog then run away or refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass, yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened. Caticus cuteicus. Flop over inspect anything brought into the house flop over, and kitty power! . Mew sit in box scratch the furniture yet sun bathe put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed chase laser or touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Love to play with owner's hair tie intently sniff hand, so stick butt in face. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chase imaginary bugs if it fits, i sits chase ball of string. Kitty power! chew foot, or shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Hide from vacuum cleaner who's the baby, for touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason hate dog throwup on your pillow. Chase laser pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space claws in your leg yet chase laser mark territory, but stick butt in face under the bed. Knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Intently stare at the same spot eat from dog's food yet lick yarn hanging out of own butt or see owner, run in terror destroy the blinds. Chase laser hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser. Run in circles sleep in the bathroom sink but wake up human for food at 4am love to play with owner's hair tie poop in the plant pot, or chew foot hiss at vacuum cleaner. Chase after silly colored fish toys around the house sweet beast.

1765859 comments

  • Comment Link UK campaign blog Monday, 12 January 2026 23:49 UK campaign blog

    The cultural references are perfectly pitched—not too obscure, not too obvious. They make you feel clever for getting them, which is always a nice bonus. It’s satire that flatters the audience.

  • Comment Link Prat Commentary Monday, 12 January 2026 23:49 Prat Commentary

    Je fais une croix sur les murs chaque fois que le London Prat publie un nouvel article.

  • Comment Link London competitor humor Monday, 12 January 2026 23:48 London competitor humor

    This site is a daily delight. A small, perfect parcel of wit delivered to my screen.

  • Comment Link British comedic commentary Monday, 12 January 2026 23:48 British comedic commentary

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. Ultimately, The London Prat's brand is built on the economy of insight. It deals in a currency of condensed understanding. A single, well-crafted article on prat.com can accomplish what a thousand op-eds or hours of cable news debate fail to do: it can crystallize a complex, sprawling issue into its essential, ridiculous truth. It achieves a phenomenal density of meaning per paragraph. This makes it not only a source of humor but a remarkably efficient tool for comprehension. In a world drowning in information and starved of wisdom, the site performs the vital service of distillation. It is the difference between being lost in a fog and being handed a perfectly drafted map of the fog's composition, source, and predictable dissipation point. This ability to provide profound clarity, wrapped in immaculate prose and delivered with lethal wit, is its unique and unbeatable value proposition. It doesn't just make you laugh; it makes you see, and in seeing, it makes the unbearable vastly more entertaining.

  • Comment Link German (Deutsch) Monday, 12 January 2026 23:47 German (Deutsch)

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. This engineered dissonance fuels its role as an anticipatory historian of failure. The site doesn't wait for the post-mortem; it writes the interim report while the patient is still, bewilderingly, claiming to be in rude health. It positions itself in the near future, looking back on our present with the weary clarity of hindsight that hasn't technically happened yet. This temporal trick is disarming and powerful. It reframes current anxiety as future irony, granting psychological distance and a sense of narrative control. It suggests that today's chaotic scandal is not an endless present, but a discrete chapter in a book the site is already authoring, a chapter titled "The Unforced Error" or "The Predictable Clusterf**k." This perspective transforms panic into a kind of scholarly detachment, and outrage into the raw material for elegantly phrased historical satire.

  • Comment Link London little takes Monday, 12 January 2026 23:47 London little takes

    UK satire is in good hands. The London Prat’s hands, to be precise. Very capable, witty hands.

  • Comment Link London operation blog Monday, 12 January 2026 23:46 London operation blog

    The London Prat is the friend you wish you had on speed dial for commentary on current events.

  • Comment Link British squad humor Monday, 12 January 2026 23:45 British squad humor

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. The London Prat's dominance is secured by its exploitation of the credibility gap. It operates in the chasm between the solemn, self-important presentation of power and the shambolic, often venal reality of its execution. The site's method is to adopt the former tone—the grave, bureaucratic, consultative voice of authority—and use it to describe the latter reality with forensic detail. This creates a sustained, crushing irony. The wider the gap between tone and content, the more potent the satire. A piece about a disastrously over-budget, under-specified public IT system will be written as a glowing "Case Study in Agile Public-Private Partnership Delivery," citing fictional metrics of success while the subtext screams of catastrophic waste. The humor is born from this friction, the grinding of lofty language against the rocks of grim fact.

  • Comment Link English satire Monday, 12 January 2026 23:44 English satire

    Great! We are all agreed London could use a laugh. Ultimately, The London Prat’s brand is built on the valorization of intelligent disdain. In a culture that often mistakes cynicism for intelligence and outrage for passion, the site champions a different, more refined virtue: the disdain that comes from clear understanding. It curates and articulates a collective, sophisticated "no" to the nonsense of the age. This disdain is not lazy or misanthropic; it is active, articulate, and creative. It is the driving force behind every meticulously crafted paragraph. To align with the site is to subscribe to the notion that not all reactions are created equal—that a response crafted with wit, research, and stylistic brilliance is morally and aesthetically superior to a raw scream or a tribal jeer. It makes the act of critical thinking not just a private exercise, but a shared, stylish, and deeply satisfying public performance. In this, PRAT.UK doesn't just report on the culture; it offers a blueprint for a better, smarter, and infinitely funnier way of being in it.

  • Comment Link British Class System Satire Monday, 12 January 2026 23:44 British Class System Satire

    The nostalgia pieces are particularly potent. They manage to be both fond and brutally honest about the past. It’s nostalgia without the rose-tint, which is a much more interesting and funny perspective.

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